Intellectual conversations online dating
Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in Mc Adams’s system to level two. In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship. Everyone, both sender and replier, was happier with the interaction…What we learned from this little experiment is that when people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward an equilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from.Via Click: The Magic of Instant Connections: What he found was striking. Forcing people to discuss interesting but more controversial topics made for more enjoyable first date conversation. Dating site Ok Cupid found one question that was the single best predictor of whether men or women would have sex on the first date: Via Ok Cupid: Among all our casual topics, whether someone likes the taste of beer is the single best predictor of if he or she has sex on the first date…In my sample of 150, not once did a girl take the initiative, pick a place, and invite me. It is a very time, resource, and attention consuming thing. I met smart girls, pretty girls, fun girls and weird girls and it was great even though in the end, I didn’t find my soulmate.I’m told it’s fear of appearing desperate, but fuck that! The whole point of automating was precisely to make it not so. PS: I will not open-source the code since it could be used to hurt people, but I might share it if you ask nicely.In computer science, this is known as the optimal stopping algorithm, aka the secretary problem. An abstraction layer capable of managing online dating for me: My first problem was solved: getting leads into the pipeline. If I changed my profile picture and got more “likes” as a result, that meant it was better.I was tracking data, which made it easy to see what performed best.I also had some tricks — like subscribing to premium services to make my messages more visible. I had a special feeling so I brought her on a special date at the Golden Gate Park.It worked well to get attention: I was now dating at scale, I could handle the influx of new leads. I brought a basket with fruits, macaroons and red wine and rented a boat.
Another was exceptionally caring, and made me feel special, valued. Technology is leverage, and I think I leveraged it wrong: the execution was fine but the strategy wasn’t.This one worked, probably because it hides the bulging stomach and the balding head.Conversion rates increased: more matches, more leads, more dates to schedule.Accept your date’s pass, redirect it slightly, and then return the ball— all with warmth and genuine interest in his or her responses.This acceptance and redirection is the push and pull that creates smoothness.